Carolann who has Essential Tremor

This is My Story, a heartfelt, honest and shaky one. I am a 43, I’m a Wife, a Mum and a Full Time Early Years Practitioner. I’ve had tremors since I was 16, officially diagnosed at 23 and have had several scans, tests, medication and neurology visits along the way. In my 30’s my tremors progressed and sadly are very prominent in all aspects of my everyday life. 

I have learned to develop a thick skin, those who know me, know that I shake. My little people at work ask “Mrs B why are your hands so wobbly?”. Children are curious so I simply tell them that my brain works a little bit different from their's. Kids are great and completely get it but sadly adults are not so kind, I’ve had very derogatory comments from men. A very famous darts player once said “don’t worry I make lots of women shake” as I posed happily for a photo next to him! That is not acceptable!

Thankfully I have the support of my family, my friends and my colleagues. I have learned to be honest and to laugh. I can't iron, or cook great meals from scratch, I hold cutlery in the wrong hands and never ever do I eat soup with a spoon. I know my limits and no longer beat myself up about the things I cannot do. 

I have bought all sorts of tools to help with cooking, cleaning, doing my hair & make up and I even tried to invent some of my own.

The local pubs that we go to, serve my drinks in a larger glass as I point blank refuse to be a 43 year old gal with wonky eyeliner drinking my wine & soda out of a beaker (as advised too by a very lovely lady on a forum)

My brain is young so I can't have DBS, I have had tremors for so long that I don't qualify for Focused Ultrasound Therapy. Do I get upset....Ofcourse I do, but the things I CAN do by far outweigh the rest. 

I CAN ask for help! (It took a while)

I CAN hug my family and tell them how much I love them every day.

I CAN live a shaky but very normal life!

And I CAN laugh....at myself, and that makes a huge difference. 

Everyone's experience with ET is different, thankfully it is a condition that is getting much more awareness.

We may be young, we may be old, we are in this, shaking together. My advice, keep living, always ask for help and don't ever take NO for an answer. 

Own those shakes, they are what make you amazing.